ASK AUNT POLLY (from old issue)
Dear Aunt Polly,
My nephew Hank married a woman who's very aquisitive. Both of them
have good jobs and no children, so are well off. The live in a
beautiful home, can buy just about anything, and go on nice trips.
But Hank's wife (I'll call her Nancy) is never satisfied. She's
always acquiring more things - expensive things, like lap pools and a
major entertainment center, and another car (just to review this year
so far). It bothers me Nancy can't enjoy what she has. She also seems
to want what I've got. Once I told Hank I would leave him some family
furniture, but now I'm not so sure.
In a quandry, NM
Dear Quandry,
You don't mention Nancy's background. Sometimes people who suffered
economically deprived childhoods can't get over the feeling of being
without. It's like a person who has starved not being able to control
his greediness once food becomes plentiful. If my intuition is
correct, Nancy may never adjust to her current riches without help.
Unless you feel comfortable talking with your nephew about your
observations, it would be best to MYOB.
Aunt Polly
Dear Aunt Polly,
In my husband's family, no one ever raised his or her voice. Disputes
were settled by "reasonable discussion," although if I do say so, my
mother-in-law mostly does what she's told by her husband and sons. My
family is scrappy. My sisters and I learned to fight and argue for
what we thought were our rights. This behavior disturbs my husband,
so that he leaves the house when he meets with an argument or a
raised pitch or tone. He says I'm hysterical; I say he's so
reasonable he's unreasonable, which gets under my skin. He wasn't
like this before we married. What's happened?
Give me a break, in Peoria
Dear Breaker,
Your husband may have been attracted to your feistiness when he met
you, but doesn't enjoy living with behavior that always goes against
the grain of his upbringing. You can try talking reasonably about the
problem with him, or with a counselor, but you will both have to give
some to make this marriage work. It's especially important your
husband not walk out on the discussion. Good luck. I'm in your corner.
Aunt Polly
Dear Aunt Polly,
This week in the youth section of our public library I found and
brought home a book for 14-18 year olds on date rape. I am 15. My
mother is horrified the library has this book on its shelves, and
won't let me read it. She doesn't know that some kids my age in
school already are drinking and having sex, but it's true. I'm not
doing either and don't plan to, but I think it's good to know what to
watch for. How can I help my Mom get more with it?
Not too young to know
Dear Not To,
One way would be to send for my booklet, "What Parents need to know,"
which contains some frank information on what teenagers encounter in
today's social culture. It's designed to open the eyes of people like
your mother who think the world hasn't changed since the eighties.
Young people now can find themselves in scary situations at
surprisingly young ages. "Forewarned is forearmed" was never more
pertinent. Send $2.50 to Ask Aunt Polly, PO Box 567, Athol, MA 01331.
Aunt Polly