Letter to the Editor

Dear Nauset Faucet, Sharks deserve prey. I, however, don't want to be prey. Our local governments need to make some hard decisions about how to handle the shark problem. We could become like Australia and have netting at the beaches to keep the sharks out of swimming areas, but that's a lot of effort and doesn't always work. We could try a high-pitched noise that sharks don't like. Or, we could go back to the way things used to be…. before the seal population exploded. The way I see it, no seals = no sharks. I have a solution that will reduce the shark population without harming them, improve public safety for humans, bolster family values, and create jobs for locals. It's called THE BLUBBER FESTIVAL! The first day will feature a traditional seal harvest. We'll comp some celebrities to draw participants. Sarah Palin could harvest from the air, for example. Others could just harvest from a boat or the beach. That night, we'll have ritual offerings. And the next day we'll honor the seals' sacrifice with a celebration of blubber -- blubber wrestling, blubber slides and bouncy blubber for kids, and the old-fashioned blubber eating contest. I believe that after THE BLUBBER FESTIVAL, the shark issue will be diminished. Sincerely, Laura Longsworth